Agar aaj koi mujhse pooche…
“Tumhari sabse badi achievement kya hai?”
Toh shayad main kuch der chup rahunga.
Log expect karenge ki main bolunga…
“Maine ghar banaya.”
“Maine gaadi kharidi.”
“Mera bhai government job mein hai.”
Lekin meri sabse badi achievement inmein se koi nahi hai.
Meri sabse badi achievement sirf itni hai…
Main kabhi apne ghar walon ko ye ehsaas nahi hone diya ki main bhi kabhi thak jaata hoon.
Mera naam aap jo chahe maan lo.
Waise bhi kahani naam ki nahi hoti…
Haalaat ki hoti hai.
Main Rajasthan ke ek chhote se kasbe mein paida hua.
Na hum itne gareeb the ki log taras khaayein…
Aur na itne ameer ki sapne aaram se poore ho jaayein.
Hum un logon mein se the…
Jo har mahine ki 25 tareekh ke baad calendar nahi…
Jeb dekhte the.
Papa mazdoori karte the.
Kabhi building banate.
Kabhi tiles lagate.
Kabhi poora din kaam milta.
Kabhi subah se shaam tak chowk par khade rehne ke baad bhi bina kaam ke ghar laut aate.
Us din ghar ka mahaul alag hota tha.
Papa kam bolte.
Mummy zyada chup rehti.
Aur hum dono bhai bina kuch pooche samajh jaate…
Aaj doodh nahi aayega.
Bachpan mein gareebi itni buri nahi lagti.
Kyuki comparison karna nahi aata.
Mujhe lagta tha…
Har ghar mein Sunday ko aloo ki sabzi isliye banti hai kyunki sabko pasand hoti hai.
Baad mein samajh aaya…
Nahi…
Kyuki woh sabse sasti padti hai.
School government tha.
Building purani thi.
Bench kabhi poori hoti thi…
Kabhi teen bachche ek bench par baithte the.
Lekin mujhe school bahut pasand tha.
Padhai ki wajah se nahi.
Teacher ki wajah se.
Hamare Hindi ke sir ek baat hamesha bolte the…
“Beta, gareebi jeb mein honi chahiye… dimaag mein nahi.”
Us waqt ye line bas achchi lagti thi.
Aaj uska matlab samajh aata hai.
Main padhne mein theek tha.
Class mein hamesha pehle paanch bachchon mein naam aa jaata tha.
Result wale din mummy mere liye halwa banati thi.
Thoda sa.
Kyuki cheeni bhi naap kar kharidi jaati thi.
Papa kuch nahi bolte the.
Bas result dekhkar itna kehte…
“Theek hai… aur mehnat kar.”
Us ek sentence mein hi unki tareef bhi hoti thi.
Aur umeed bhi.
Mera chhota bhai mujhse chaar saal chhota tha.
Shararti.
Poore mohalle ka favourite.
Uski ek aadat thi…
Har baar jab mummy roti banati thi, woh sabse gol roti dhoondh kar wahi khaata tha.
Main hamesha uski bachi hui tedhi-medhi roti utha leta.
Mummy haste hue bolti…
“Dekho, bada bhai kitna samajhdar hai.”
Us waqt mujhe achha lagta tha.
Aaj sochta hoon…
Shayad us din se hi main “adjust” karna seekh gaya tha.
Ghar mein paise ki baat bachchon ke saamne nahi hoti thi.
Lekin bachche sab samajh jaate hain.
Ek baar school picnic ka form aaya.
Fees thi ₹450.
Main bahut khush tha.
Pehli baar shehar ke museum aur zoo dekhne milta.
Shaam ko form mummy ko diya.
Unhone bina padhe almari par rakh diya.
Teen din tak woh form wahi pada raha.
Chauthe din maine khud hi usse phaad kar kachre mein daal diya.
Mummy ne dekha.
Kuch nahi boli.
Main bhi kuch nahi bola.
Hum dono jaante the…
Problem ₹450 ki nahi thi.
Problem ye thi ki us mahine ghar ka ration pehle aata tha.
Picnic baad mein.
10th ka result aaya.
84%.
School ke principal ne papa ko bulaya.
Unhone papa se kaha…
“Isko science dilwaiye. Ladka mehnati hai.”
Papa sirf sunte rahe.
Ghar lautte waqt poore raste chup rahe.
Raat ko khaana khatam hua.
Main soch raha tha…
Ab admission ki baat hogi.
Papa ne paani piya…
Aur dheere se bole…
“Beta… gussa mat hona.”
Bas ye chaar shabd sunte hi mujhe sab samajh aa gaya.
Unhone kaha…
“Main dono bachchon ko ek saath nahi padha sakta.”
“Tu bada hai.”
“Thoda sambhal le.”
Us raat maine pehli baar dekha…
Papa ki aankhon mein aansu the.
Aur pehli baar…
Maine apne sapnon se zyada unki majboori dekhi.
Main bas itna bola…
“Theek hai, Papa.”
Sach kahun?
Us “theek hai” ke baad main kabhi pehle jaisa nahi raha.
Agli subah mere dost admission form lene ja rahe the.
Main unke saath bus stand tak gaya.
Phir unse bola…
“Tum log jao… mujhe ek kaam yaad aa gaya.”
Woh chale gaye.
Main wahin chai ki dukaan par aadha ghanta baitha raha.
Us din pehli baar laga…
Zindagi bina pooche bhi raasta badal deti hai.
Do din baad papa mujhe apne ek pehchaan wale ke godown le gaye.
Unhone kaha…
“Kaam seekh lega toh rozgaar kabhi nahi rukega.”
Godown ke malik ne mujhe upar se neeche tak dekha aur hansi mein bola…
“Patla bahut hai… do bori uthayega ya bori ise utha legi?”
Sab has pade.
Main bhi hasa.
Kya karta?
Naukri shuru hone se pehle hi agar bura maan jaata…
Toh pet kaise bharta?
Us din meri pehli duty thi…
Aata, chawal aur daal ke bore truck se utarna.
Shaam ko haath laal ho gaye the.
Kandhe chhil gaye the.
Aur kamar aise dard kar rahi thi jaise kisi ne lohe ki rod ghusa di ho.
Shaam ko malik ne ₹300 haath mein diye.
Maine zindagi mein pehli baar apni mehnat ke paise dekhe.
Ghar aaya.
Paise mummy ke haath mein rakhe.
Mummy ne bas itna poocha…
“Khana laga doon?”
Us din mujhe laga…
Shayad ye duniya ka sabse pyaara sawaal hai.
Kyuki us din main sirf kamane wala nahi…
Unka beta bhi tha.
Us raat sone se pehle maine ek faisla kiya.
Agar main padh nahi saka…
Toh koi baat nahi.
Lekin mera chhota bhai…
Uski padhai kabhi paise ki wajah se nahi rukegi.
Us waqt mujhe bilkul nahi pata tha…
Ki ye ek vaada…
Aane wale pandrah saal tak meri poori zindagi ka faisla kar dega.
Agle din subah 6 baje hi papa ne awaaz lagayi.
“Uth ja… mazdoor ko alarm ki zarurat nahi padti.”
Maine aankhen mali aur uth gaya.
Us din se meri subah school ki bell se nahi…
Truck ke horn se shuru hone lagi.
Godown ka malik, Mishra ji, ajeeb aadmi tha.
Dil ka bura nahi tha…
Bas muh ka thoda kadwa.
Roz subah ek hi baat bolta,
“Kaam seekh le beta… degree wale line mein khade rehte hain, kaam wale kabhi bhooke nahi marte.”
Us waqt uski baat buri lagti thi.
Aaj lagta hai…
Woh apni zindagi ka sach bol raha tha.
Meri duty simple thi.
Truck aata.
Bore utaro.
Godown mein jamao.
Bill ke hisaab se samaan alag karo.
Shaam ko jhaadu lagao.
Aur ghar jao.
Simple sunne mein lagta hai.
Karne mein nahi.
Ek bori 50 kilo ki hoti thi.
Aur main us waqt mushkil se 55 kilo ka tha.
Pehle hafte kandhon par chhale pad gaye.
Dusre hafte haathon ki chamdi utarne lagi.
Teesre hafte dard hona band ho gaya.
Insaan ka sharir bhi kitna ajeeb hai…
Jis cheez ko badal nahi sakta…
Uski aadat bana leta hai.
Mahine ke aakhir mein pehli poori tankhwa mili.
₹9,800.
Us zamane ke hisaab se mere liye bahut bade paise the.
Maine note teen baar gine.
Phir mummy ko phone lagaya.
“Maa… pehli salary aa gayi.”
Mummy ki awaaz mein khushi thi.
“Sach?”
“Haan.”
“Khud ke liye achhe kapde le lena.”
Main muskura diya.
Do din baad jab gaon gaya…
Mummy ne dheere se kaha,
“Beta… is baar ghar ka ration thoda kam pad gaya tha.”
Main samajh gaya.
Agle hi din ₹4,000 unke haath mein rakh diye.
Baaki paise lekar shehar laut aaya.
Kapde phir nahi liye.
Room mein hum chaar ladke rehte the.
Main…
Rakesh…
Imran…
Aur Sonu.
Ek cooler.
Do pankhe.
Chaar gadde.
Aur ek chulha.
Mahine ki pehli tareekh ko room mein sabse achha khana banta tha.
Kisi ki salary aati…
Toh chicken.
Kisi ki overtime lagti…
Toh paneer.
Aur mahine ki 25 tareekh ke baad…
Sabka favourite menu…
Aloo.
Ek din Sonu hans ke bola,
“Bhai, agar aloo ko award milta na…
Toh hum sab chief guest hote.”
Hum itna hase…
Ki bhookh thodi der ke liye sach mein kam lagne lagi.
Mera ek chhota sa routine ban gaya tha.
Subah kaam.
Shaam ko thodi der bazaar.
Phir mummy ko phone.
Phone pe hamesha ek hi sawaal hota.
“Khaana kha liya?”
Main hamesha bolta,
“Haan.”
Sach?
Kabhi kabhi sirf chai aur do biscuit hi khaye hote the.
Main jhooth isliye bolta tha…
Kyuki maa ko pareshaan karne se pet nahi bharna tha.
Ek Sunday ghar gaya.
Bhai school se aaya aur bola,
“Bhaiya… maths ki tuition join karni hai.”
Maine poocha,
“Government school mein teacher nahi padhate?”
Woh bola,
“Padhate hain… par competition alag hota hai.”
Uski aankhon mein wahi chamak thi…
Jo kabhi meri aankhon mein hua karti thi.
Maine turant kaha,
“Join kar le.”
Papa ne meri taraf dekha.
Unki aankhon mein shukriya tha.
Lekin unhone kuch nahi bola.
Papa shayad us generation se the…
Jahan pyaar bolkar nahi…
Khamoshi se dikhaya jaata tha.
Us din se har mahine ek naya kharcha jud gaya.
Kabhi tuition.
Kabhi school uniform.
Kabhi practical file.
Kabhi exam form.
Rakam bahut badi nahi hoti thi.
Lekin har mahine kuch na kuch aa hi jaata tha.
Aur ajeeb baat pata hai?
Maine kabhi hisaab nahi rakha.
Bas itna sochta tha…
“Ye bhi ho jayega.”
Ek baar Rakesh ne poocha,
“Tu kabhi apne liye bhi kuch kharidta hai?”
Maine bola,
“Pichhle saal ghadi li thi.”
Woh bola,
“Kitne ki?”
Maine hans ke kaha,
“₹250 ki.”
Usne meri ghadi dekhi.
Aur bola,
“Isse zyada mehenga toh mera belt hai.”
Main bhi hans diya.
Andar se thoda chubha zaroor.
Lekin aadat thi.
Gaon mein log milte toh mummy se kehte,
“Bada beta toh kama raha hai… ab toh sab set hoga.”
Mummy bas muskura deti.
Mujhe bhi lagta tha…
Haan…
Bas do-teen saal aur.
Phir sab theek ho jayega.
Mujhe nahi pata tha…
Gareebi ki sabse badi aadat hi ye hoti hai…
Woh hamesha do-teen saal aur maangti rehti hai.
Ek shaam papa ka phone aaya.
Awaaz thodi dheemi thi.
“Beta… ek baat bolun?”
Maine hans ke kaha,
“Aaj permission kyun le rahe ho?”
Woh bole,
“Bhai ka 11th mein admission hai.”
“Science lena chahta hai.”
“Kharcha thoda badhega.”
Maine kuch second chup rehkar poocha,
“Uska mann hai?”
Papa bole,
“Haan.”
Maine kaha,
“Phir science hi lega.”
Us taraf kuch der tak khamoshi rahi.
Phir papa ne sirf itna kaha…
“Bhagwan tujhe khush rakhe.”
Phone cut ho gaya.
Main bahut der tak mobile dekhta raha.
Pata nahi kyun…
Us ek line ne poore din ki thakaan utaar di.
Kabhi kabhi tarif ki zarurat nahi hoti.
Bas kisi ka bharosa kaafi hota hai.
Us raat maine pehli baar overtime ke liye khud haath khada kiya.
Manager ne poocha,
“Itni jaldi paise kamane ki kya padi hai?”
Main hans ke bola,
“Sir… mere sapne ab mere nahi rahe.”
Woh meri baat samajh nahi paaya.
Aur maine samjhaya bhi nahi.
Us waqt mujhe lagta tha ki main apne bhai ka future bana raha hoon.
Mujhe bilkul andaaza nahi tha…
Ki dheere-dheere…
Main apni pehchaan hi uske future ke neeche daba raha tha.
Us waqt meri umar lagbhag 22 saal thi.
Ajeeb si umar hoti hai.
Na bachcha rehte ho…
Na poori tarah bade bante ho.
Bas zimmedariyaan tumse badi ho jaati hain.
Meri zindagi bhi ab ek timetable ban chuki thi.
Subah 6 baje uthna.
7 baje tak godown pahunchna.
Poora din kaam.
Shaam ko room.
Raat ko ghar phone.
Aur phir so jaana.
Kabhi kabhi lagta tha…
Main zindagi nahi jee raha…
Main sirf din poore kar raha hoon.
Ek din room mein sab apni-apni salary ka hisaab laga rahe the.
Rakesh bola,
“Main is baar mummy ke liye washing machine bhejunga.”
Sonu bola,
“Main mobile change karunga.”
Imran bola,
“Main Eid pe ghar walon ko surprise dunga.”
Sabne meri taraf dekha.
“Tu kya karega?”
Main thoda socha…
Phir bola…
“Main shayad is baar bhi paise ghar bhej dunga.”
Sab hans diye.
Sonu bola,
“Tu paida hi paisa bhejne ke liye hua tha kya?”
Main bhi hasa.
Lekin dil ke kisi kone mein laga…
Shayad woh mazaak nahi kar raha tha.
Mahine ki pehli tareekh mere liye kabhi khushi ka din nahi hoti thi.
Salary account mein aati.
Main thodi der screen dekhkar muskura deta.
Phir transfer kar deta.
Mummy ko.
Kabhi papa ko.
Kabhi bhai ki fees ke account mein.
Do minute mein balance aadha reh jaata.
Pata hi nahi chalta tha…
Paise aaye kab…
Aur gaye kab.
Ek baar mummy ne phone par kaha,
“Beta, is baar mat bhejna.”
Main hairaan ho gaya.
Maine poocha,
“Kyun?”
Woh boli,
“Pichhle mahine jo bheje the, usse kaam chal gaya.”
Pata nahi kyun…
Us din itni khushi hui jaise kisi ne bonus de diya ho.
Maine socha…
Chalo, is baar apne liye ek achhi shirt le leta hoon.
Shaam ko market gaya.
Do-teen shirt dekhi.
Ek pasand bhi aa gayi.
Tabhi papa ka phone aa gaya.
“Beta, cycle purani ho gayi hai. Tera bhai roz school jaata hai. Agar is mahine thodi madad ho jaaye toh…”
Maine shirt wapas hanger par rakh di.
Aur dukaan se bahar aa gaya.
Us din mujhe samajh aaya…
Kabhi kabhi insaan cheezein isliye nahi chhodta kyunki woh mehengi hoti hain.
Woh isliye chhod deta hai…
Kyunki uske apne log usse zyada zaroori hote hain.
Bhai ab 12th mein aa gaya tha.
Uske number bahut achhe aate the.
Gaon ke log papa se kehte,
“Isko achhe college bhejna.”
Papa bas meri taraf dekhte.
Main sir hila deta.
Unhe jawab dene ki zarurat hi nahi padti thi.
Shayad ghar mein sabko pata tha…
Aakhri faisla meri jeb karti thi.
Ek shaam bhai ka phone aaya.
“Bhaiya…”
“Haan bol.”
“Tum bura toh nahi manoge?”
“Pagal hai kya? Bol.”
“Sab dost coaching join kar rahe hain. Main bhi karna chahta hoon.”
Main kuch der chup raha.
Mere dimaag mein hisaab chal raha tha.
Room ka rent.
Khana.
Bus pass.
Ghar ka ration.
Bijli ka bill.
Aur ab coaching.
Maine usse sirf itna poocha,
“Tujhe lagta hai coaching se fayda hoga?”
Usne bina ek second soche kaha,
“Hoga.”
Main hans diya.
“Phir bas. Join kar le.”
Uski awaaz mein jo khushi thi…
Usne mere hisaab-kitaab ki saari tension kuch der ke liye khatam kar di.
Us raat main bahut der tak chhat par baitha raha.
Shehar ki lights dekh raha tha.
Soch raha tha…
Agar main padh leta toh?
Kya meri zindagi alag hoti?
Phir khud hi jawab diya…
“Pata nahi.”
Lekin ek baat pakki thi…
Ab ye sawaal poochne se kuch badalne wala nahi tha.
Agli subah overtime ki list lagi.
Manager ne poocha,
“Kaun rukega?”
Is baar sab chup the.
Main sabse pehle khada ho gaya.
Manager hans kar bola,
“Lagta hai tujhe ghar jaane ki jaldi hi nahi hoti.”
Main bhi muskura diya.
Kaise batata…
Jitna zyada kaam karta tha…
Utna kam sochta tha.
Aur kabhi kabhi…
Kaam hi insaan ko uske dard se bacha leta hai.
Us saal Diwali par main ghar gaya.
Ghar wahi tha.
Diwarein wahi thi.
Angan wahi tha.
Bas ek cheez badal gayi thi.
Mera chhota bhai.
Uski baaton mein confidence aa gaya tha.
English ke words beech-beech mein bolne laga tha.
Mujhe dekhkar gale laga.
Aur bola,
“Bhaiya, tumhare bina kuch nahi hota.”
Bas itna sa sentence tha.
Lekin us raat main bahut din baad chain se soya.
Laga…
Meri mehnat kisi ne dekhi toh sahi.
Mujhe bilkul bhi andaaza nahi tha…
Ki zindagi ke kuch rishte waqt ke saath badalte nahi…
Unki yaadein badal jaati hain.
Aur ek din…
Wahi bhai, jiske liye main har mahine apni zaruratein chhoti karta tha…
Mujhe meri hi aukaat yaad dilayega.
Lekin woh din abhi bahut door tha…
Leave Your Footprint
"I lived this." "I relate." "My father was exactly like this." Say what this stirred in you.
Comments are closed.